Leaning Into Rest & Uncertainty

Aug 14

Real talk: I’ve been pretty hard on myself for not being tapped into my creativity and writing like I used to and not having all of the answers.

To be honest, chronic illness has forced me to slow down in a way that I haven’t done in a long time, and that means only the essentials have remained. Writing for my own therapeutic purposes = essential. Writing creatively or intellectually in order to share with others = more draining lately than I would like to admit. I wish that my thoughts were flowing with ease and abundance, and that captions and blog posts poured out of me like they used to. But the truth is I have been dealing with a lot of brain fog, and at the end of a work day and holding space for projects and clients, I don’t seem to have the capacity for much more right now.

So it seems that my work now is to not make myself wrong for that. To lean into the moments (like this) where I do feel inspired to write. And to be gentle on myself when my brain feels like a mall in the middle of the pandemic (closed for business). And even to be okay when those moments of inspiration are more fleeting than I would like. In fact, right now is one of those moments. I’m getting the signal to press pause on this writing session for now, and will come back to it later when my cup feels a little more full again.

cue interlude

Now here I am, two weeks later, feeling inspired once again to write. Letting it be okay that I took a few weeks off. In fact, knowing that by taking time off I am doing myself a greater service than if I had tried to “power through.” Because the truth is we are all worthy of rest. Not just when we are sick or going through something challenging, but always. I wish I had learned that lesson sooner. I used to pride myself on being “type A” and feeling like I was always busy.

Busy doesn’t necessarily mean productive, and productive doesn’t necessarily mean healthy. Some of the most impactful moments in my life these days are the ones where I power down all of my devices and let myself truly lean into rest. I’m realizing more and more that we can actually accomplish a lot more by doing less. There is no glory in burnout. There is no beauty in achieving goals if it’s at the sacrifice of our physical or mental health.

I have experienced firsthand that without health, not much else matters. Without vibrant health, life just doesn’t have the same glimmer that it should. So if pursuing vibrant health means that I am not writing as much right now (or training as hard as I used to), then I get to learn to be okay with that. And even more importantly, I get to lean into the uncertainty. It gets to be okay that I don’t have all the answers about this illness yet or when I will be feeling better or when my creativity will return in full force. I get to trust that this chapter is bringing lessons more powerful than I can even comprehend right now, and that I am exactly where I need to be to fulfill my purpose in this life. Plus, it all gets a little bit easier when I choose this perspective.

Okay, now it’s your turn to reflect. Where in your life have you been resisting slowing down? Have you been sacrificing your health and wellbeing for the sake of other goals? What can you do to find more balance in this chapter of your life?

Once you reflect on that, I would love to hear what you came up with. And if you need support in finding solutions, you can email me to chat about working together.

More to come soon, because even though it may take me longer, I will keep documenting this chapter of my journey along the way. And if even one of you is benefitting from hearing it, drop me a note because I promise it makes my day to hear from you guys.

xx,

Megan

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