We Need To Keep Choosing Love

Jul 15

If you are choosing to be in a relationship with someone, it is your duty to continue to choose to love them. If you are not able or interested in doing what it takes to love them well, then I’d say it’s your duty to own that and lovingly release them. What does that mean? Let’s explore…

Love is an active choice we must make. While many people say that "you can't choose who you love", a more accurate statement would be "you can't choose who you're attracted to". Attraction is primal and instinctual, while love is a choice that is reflected in our actions. A simple example of this that many people have experienced is when a partner frequently tells you that they love you, but their actions make you feel neglected or unimportant. Maybe they tell you that you are the most important thing in the world to them, but they are constantly on their phone when they are with you or choosing working late over date nights.

To actively choose love means to show up to the relationship each day with the intention to remain open-hearted and present to your partner's needs. It means that you seek to look beyond your own perspective and view of the world to understand their lived experience in an attempt to help them feel seen, understood and supported. It requires a willingness to be loving and kind more than you need to be right. To choose love means that you are committing to showing up for this person and this relationship even when it's hard, uncomfortable and inconvenient.

This will be especially true as the relationship evolves. When you move from infatuation to euphoria to attachment to conflict (as all relationships inevitably do), you will need a certain degree of commitment to your desire to choose to love this person. There will be moments where you might not feel like it. But if your overall desire to love them is greater than those momentary discomforts, you will come out the other side more resilient in your love. This will ultimately bring you both to a deeper, more secure level of attachment.

Love is not always easy, but it is the most important thing that we do. And I believe that at our core, love is who we are.

xx,

Megan

ps…if you want to learn more about calling love into your life, you can work with me 1:1, follow me on TikTok for fun tips, and even attend my 2022 retreat all about love!

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